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Honoring the Loss of Loved Ones During the Holidays

11/24/2015

5 Comments

 
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     The holidays can bring many mixed emotions, especially if you've ever lost someone special to you. While the holidays should be a time of joy, those who have experienced a loss may find these times difficult and emotionally complex. This time of year often serves as a stark reminder of the loss, which is ever present throughout the year. Although, typically more challenging throughout the holidays, especially if it's the first holiday following the loss. The holidays often times serve as a reminder that it's time to see friends and family, so when one person is missing from this tradition it can evoke many different feelings.
      During this time of the year it's important not only to celebrate the joy of the holidays, but also honor the losses in our lives. Some examples of honoring these losses might include the creation of shared family story or a photo book about the honored person, demonstrating how the loss has effected each family member, allowing each member to share what they remember about the individual, both positively and negatively. It's important with this activity to be open and listen non-judgementally to what each person is saying. If this seems too challenging, sometimes some individual processing can be helpful by writing a letter to the honored person expressing your feelings. This can sometimes help make sense of our feelings. It may be helpful to share this letter and talk about it's contents with a trusted person. Some examples of activities for younger children might include offering them the opportunity to draw a picture, sculpt a scene or play a scene out with toys depicting what they remember about the person's influence on their lives. Another possibility is to choose something symbolic to honor the person by lighting a candle, making something out of paper and throwing it in the fireplace or buying or making a favorite food of the honored person to serve around the holidays.
      Often times it's believed that if we don't discuss things that are emotionally charged they'll disappear. They don't, they tend to emerge in other ways through various unhealthy behaviors if these feelings remain unprocessed. Some examples of these unhealthy behaviors may take the form of aggressiveness in children or excessive drinking in adults. If these already mentioned activities seem too challenging, they aren't the only thing you can do to help yourself. The most important thing is finding ways of coping with the loss that are helpful to you. Connect with a close friend or family member and talk. Talking can sometimes be a beneficial way to process feelings and make sense of your experiences.
     Discussing losses around the holidays, can be emotionally challenging in the moment. Doing this may seem as though it's putting a damper on the holidays, but it will help with long term mental health by acknowledging and talking about who and what everyone is thinking. Also, the overall importance of self care during this time can't be overlooked. Be sure you are getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, drinking enough water and exercising regularly. If you or someone you know has tried to work through the grief of losing a loved one, but is struggling a great deal with the loss.  It might be helpful to consider therapy, which can be an important piece in the healing process.
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