In a world where the hustle and bustle of life makes it almost impossible to slow down, it's important for women to work on owning our needs. Needs that likely have been pushed aside due to our own beliefs about what "we should" be doing. Our artificial life in the "land of shoulds" needs to stop. You need to embrace what you feel like YOUR needs are.
As women, we are particularly vulnerable to putting ourselves last. You're probably reading this thinking, "there's no possible way I can do that" and there in lies the problem. Why is it that when we need to take care of ourselves the most we are the last to consider our needs? We need to fill our cup before we can fill anyone else's, in other words how can we care for others effectively if we can't care for ourselves? I'll admit I'm the first to struggle with this. Often when life feels completely overwhelming, the idea of doing something for myself isn't even a consideration, but over the course of the past five years and after becoming a parent I've come to realize that by not taking care of myself, I'm not living my best life or giving people the best of me.
Self-care can look like many, many different things and I'm sure you're thinking here's where she's going to impart a list of five things that will utterly change my life. Nope, the problem with those lists is that they can't possibly inform everyone on what they "should" be doing. Those lists about self-care are a bit oxymoronic in that self-care is just that, working for yourself on figuring out what it is that you need in this ridiculously overwhelming world to best improve your quality of life. Unfortunately, I don't have the magical answer that's going to make your life feel the way you want it to, only you do.
What I can help with is the process of getting you to a point where you're figuring this out for yourself and doing the work on your own. So laying down one cold truth that I think we grapple with in society today, is often there are no quick fixes and that life is a series of continuous ups and downs, like waves in the ocean. I'm here to help you build and learn how to fix your own boat when the weather gets too rough and the waves too high rather than waiting on someone else to come in and tell you how you "should fix it". Here are the starting points for doing this work and learning these skills.
1. List all of the things you enjoy/enjoyed doing in your life.
2. List all of the things you need more of in your life.
3. List all of the things you need less of in your life.
4. Look over your lists and choose at least one of those things you TRULY in your heart of hearts know would be possible to implement.
It a starts with one step and often that needs to be the smallest, easiest step in order for us to believe in ourselves and that self-care is doable and important. So for example, that one small first step could be as simple as going through your old mail and getting rid of anything you don't need. If that one little step is going to help you feel more grounded and connected within your home environment, then that's the start I'm talking about. Larger steps like, "improving my relationship with my partner" will probably require a bit more energy and time. You may want all the things to feel and be improved right now and I get it, I fall into that trap myself at times. I find that a helpful reminder when that happens is that that need for immediate gratification is a product of the immediacy of the society in which we live. Change takes time, patience and perseverance, so let's start reinforcing that boat.
In Care,
Amanda
As women, we are particularly vulnerable to putting ourselves last. You're probably reading this thinking, "there's no possible way I can do that" and there in lies the problem. Why is it that when we need to take care of ourselves the most we are the last to consider our needs? We need to fill our cup before we can fill anyone else's, in other words how can we care for others effectively if we can't care for ourselves? I'll admit I'm the first to struggle with this. Often when life feels completely overwhelming, the idea of doing something for myself isn't even a consideration, but over the course of the past five years and after becoming a parent I've come to realize that by not taking care of myself, I'm not living my best life or giving people the best of me.
Self-care can look like many, many different things and I'm sure you're thinking here's where she's going to impart a list of five things that will utterly change my life. Nope, the problem with those lists is that they can't possibly inform everyone on what they "should" be doing. Those lists about self-care are a bit oxymoronic in that self-care is just that, working for yourself on figuring out what it is that you need in this ridiculously overwhelming world to best improve your quality of life. Unfortunately, I don't have the magical answer that's going to make your life feel the way you want it to, only you do.
What I can help with is the process of getting you to a point where you're figuring this out for yourself and doing the work on your own. So laying down one cold truth that I think we grapple with in society today, is often there are no quick fixes and that life is a series of continuous ups and downs, like waves in the ocean. I'm here to help you build and learn how to fix your own boat when the weather gets too rough and the waves too high rather than waiting on someone else to come in and tell you how you "should fix it". Here are the starting points for doing this work and learning these skills.
1. List all of the things you enjoy/enjoyed doing in your life.
2. List all of the things you need more of in your life.
3. List all of the things you need less of in your life.
4. Look over your lists and choose at least one of those things you TRULY in your heart of hearts know would be possible to implement.
It a starts with one step and often that needs to be the smallest, easiest step in order for us to believe in ourselves and that self-care is doable and important. So for example, that one small first step could be as simple as going through your old mail and getting rid of anything you don't need. If that one little step is going to help you feel more grounded and connected within your home environment, then that's the start I'm talking about. Larger steps like, "improving my relationship with my partner" will probably require a bit more energy and time. You may want all the things to feel and be improved right now and I get it, I fall into that trap myself at times. I find that a helpful reminder when that happens is that that need for immediate gratification is a product of the immediacy of the society in which we live. Change takes time, patience and perseverance, so let's start reinforcing that boat.
In Care,
Amanda
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